What I'm sure most everyone has thought lately upon seeing me.
What I’m sure most everyone has thought lately upon seeing me.

This whole transition to staying home/not working outside of the house, and then becoming pregnant and being SO sick…I’ve gotten lazy.

I didn’t want to say it.

I didn’t want to admit it.

But I have.

I can’t remember the last time I put on make-up, just because. Or that I thought, ‘Hmmm…let’s wear jeans.’ Nope. I’ve been rocking the husband’s sweatpants and sleepy pants for a solid couple of months.

But I love you...
But I love you…

I wear them to the doctor’s.

To the kid’s school.

To the store.

Yes. Yes She is.
Yes. Yes She is.

I might as well have been wearing a big neon sign saying, “I GIVE UP” or these. I could have worn these:

My precious.
My precious.

I knew it was bad, when we got invited to the husband’s aunt’s annual Christmas party. It’s one of the few excuses we have to get dressed up during the holiday season, since we’re more stay-at-home-ers than travel-all-over-ers. (Oh my grammar this morning…-facedesk-)

The husband doesn’t like to get dressed up, but he will if I do. So when I told him I ordered something to wear for the party, he gave me the one eyebrow raised, oh-shit-she’s-snapped-finally look.


I may or may not have stomped my feet and attempted to defend my case, in which he finally agreed with me in some effort to probably get me to shut up.

The point is…I ordered a dress. And because he loves me, he is giving me an early present and ordered me a pair of kick ass shoes to go along with said dress.

Then I went out and bought hair dye. And I’m going to paint my nails.

I’m going for epic transformation here.

We're starting about here.
We’re starting about here.

And I figure…

We'll end around Jessica Rabbit sexy...but without that much boob, because no one has that much boob. And if they do, I'm concerned  that they aren't sharing...
We’ll end around Jessica Rabbit sexy…but without that much boob, because no one has that much boob. And if they do, I’m concerned that they aren’t sharing…

So fingers are crossed as the dress and shoes arrive in the mail today, for the party tomorrow…

*Please fit*

What about you? Ever feel like giving yourself a total transformation? Ever slide into habits of laziness and have to kick that crap to the curb? Have boobs like Jessica Rabbit and aren’t sharing? Tell me about it!







18 responses to “Transformation”

  1. Oh my goodness I love this!! I especially love how it says “Leave a Comment…Or Glass of Wine.”
    You’re so going to rock that dress! I can’t wait for a picture! And I plan on having my own total transformation tomorrow: Hello hair extensions, short dress, high heels, and crazy awesome make-up and mask!


  2. Oh i am pretty sure we all have. There is way to look sexy in sweats. keep them folded in your hand. Now due to laziness it does not apply to me. I got boobs and I am man damn it. It is how to get rid of them is my concern.
    keep smiling.


  3. OMG! I’m not the only one!!! lol I even started wearing my sweat pants to bed and last night I was like I AM SO LAZY and I went looking for my pj bottoms, I haven’t put in my contacts in so long and I have caterpillar eyebrows but because I’m wearing my glasses and not my contacts I just don’t care…. My clothes are all getting too small for me and I went shopping for some the other day and none would fit so Im just sticking with my sweatpants Ill worry closer to christmas, although I do have to go out for a meal for my birthday next weekend ermmmm I’m even thinking…. I have black sweatpants that could pass off as trousers lol 🙂


  4. As one raises a glass, “cheers,” I say. Empty as a glass may exist . . . only dust to grace the shelves. Falling from thoughts of normalcy may be the most normal of therapy we may consume. Brandishing the sweats, nylon in disguise. Unable to fill the robust illusions of the past, finding shelter within conformity. Overflowing is the bucket full of list tumbling to the ground from graceful apathy. Dress up fades, as time flickers insecure in its own passing. I raise a glass, as full as your dreams may inspire, “cheers,” I say. A wish of tranquility in your soul and peace in your heart.
    Thanks for the honor of homesteading within. My virgin script, which had taken flight from my soul so long ago, may once again embrace my being.


  5. Laura,
    It’s obvious to me that we are on our way to becoming BFF4EVS™. I live in my pjs, literally. Admittedly, I own more than one pair, and I am a functional contributing member of this society. Also, I should add, I’m not pregnant. But I do slip in my pjs as soon as my ass enters our flat. I’d keep them on when I venture outside, but the Montreal Siberian weather (see, another sentence that makes no sense) dictates otherwise.
    Le Clown


    • It is sad to say that the ones I have been living in…-gasp- do not even belong to me. I have found though, that if one is to be truly lazy, they raid the husband’s closet for HIS sweatpants and pajamas instead since it is, in fact, much closer to the bed than my closet is. I am also silently thanking whatever gods may be that I am not located anywhere where “Siberian” can be used to describe the temperature.


        • I had to google “choda”…Everywhere I tried to take this comment after reading the definition went straight into the “This in inappropriate” file.


          • Laura,
            Dirty choda being an expression I use every given day on A Clown on Fire… Apologies for making your browser filthy.
            Le Clown


            • It just wasn’t a term I was familiar with…I now feel like I need to find a way to use it in a sentence. Like it’s a new treasure (which is how I react to most new words and has nothing to do with what this word means…ahem…yes). I would be in some sort of hell with a word of the day calendar, and everyone around me would hate me for an entire year.


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