Basically: In the Tug of War between Marvel and DC comics, who wins?
Ah, the age old question.
I’d answer if myself, but I really wanted to see what my five year old would say. So I drew the battle lines and paired off the comic book characters he knew, Marvel versus DC, to see who he picked as the winners.
Captain America vs. Batman
Captain America for the win. Hands down. He didn’t even debate it. I’m paraphrasing the boy’s words, but it basically came down to this: Batman has a cool car, but Captain America was just a skinny little nice guy and they gave him powers because he was so nice.
In Dude’s mind, if he’s nice enough he might get super strength, too. And a costume.
He already has the costume.
But it’s true, when I sat back and thought. Bruce Wayne is some billionaire vigilante who just likes to wrestle Gotham out of one problem after another. He’s got the money to back up his “hobby” and while I love the “every day guy” idea behind his lack-of powers, he’s not an every day guy. He’s a billionaire. He’s Iron Man without the awesome chest piece. I’m all for the Captain.
Oh, and it drives me nuts that Batman has been played by like ten different people since I was a kid.
Iron Man vs. Superman
Superman won. The boy loves Iron Man, but Superman “gets all powered up by the sun”. I don’t think he’s old enough to grasp how brilliant Iron Man really is. Yes, he’s an egotistical ass, but he’s also a genius. I’m attracted to genius. Superman is an alien. Enough said.
Neither of these guys are easy to relate to, though. I mean, my son can aspire to be someone like Captain America…but Superman is impossible and Iron Man is a little far-fetched. Not saying my son is stupid, but I’m realistic. He’s probably not going to be designing his own glowing pacemaker any day soon.
Superman did perform a lobotomy…with his lazer vision. Which is awesome.
Thor vs. Green Lantern
It was all Thor, all day long. Dude doesn’t even like the Green Lantern. He found him boring. And of course, “Thor has a big hammer and goes like this…BANG” At which point he slammed his fist into the floor. Yes, the God with his L’Oreal locks won the day and I have to agree.
I get that Green Lanterns can be anyone. You…me…the redneck who lives down the road with the flames painted all over his truck. Anybody. I hate rings though. I won’t wear one. So I’d never be able to take the job.
And he is boring.
And Thor is hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
Plus, extra points for using Gods from the myths to make superheroes.
Hulk vs. Aquaman
Hulk. It wasn’t even up for discussion.
“I don’t like the fish guy. Mermaid Man is better than him.”
He picked a Spongebob character over Aquaman. I couldn’t have agreed more.
I’d write more on this one, but it sees really self-explanatory to me.
Aquaman is one Hulk smash away from becoming a plate of fish and chips.
And last but not least:
Black Widow vs. Wonder Woman
Woman Woman stole the day. I guess my son doesn’t have a thing for redheads, because when I mentioned the two, he blushed twelve different shades of red.
“Wonder Woman is pretty.”
He was too embarrassed to talk after that and ran off to change into his favorite costume of all:
Yep. My son likes the bad guys best of all, and Venom is his all time favorite.
I swear…he’s perfectly normal.
Now, go check out these other blogs that are writing on the topic, while we relax in the mutual agreement that Marvel kicks DC’s butt…mostly.