Silverfish

I have perched on the edge of the heaving ocean’s waves –
a cliché of turbulent emotions raging in translucent spray.
It sends my mascara to running faster than any
fight or flight mechanism left in this old gray matter of mine.

I’ve got silverfish in my heart
and they’re eating at the yellow pages
that litter the floor
of my little castle keep.

I’m fumbling about in the rancid leftovers
of a fridge left behind.

Someone turned the power off on me
a few weeks ago,
but I never needed light for this sight –

I’m in my element here…

Here,

where the war stories of the day are bunched up under my head,
a lumpy, bumpy pillow that croons in my ear
every hour,
on the hour –
the breaking news.

And the breaking news is shattering news.
It’s crushing and devastating –
a shock to the system.
It’s the all new norm

and catastrophic in its mediocrity.

And I’m one wave crash from wiping out completely.
I’m a piss-poor balancing act on a boogie board –
I’m being eaten alive,

but the power’s off and so,
I can’t even see it happening.

© Laura A. Lord, Silverfish, 2016


I don’t claim to be anything more than I am – but there are people in this world who are especially attuned to humanity. They are effected in ways that may not make sense to others. These are the kinds of people who can read a news article and hurt so badly for humankind that they slide helplessly into a depression.

And in a world where there is so much hurting, it is easy to get lost. Bear with us, those of us who feel a little too deeply, who are thin-skinned, who wear our hearts out in the open like some big, bold flag…The world can be a little much for us some days.

Thank you to MindLoveMisery’sMenagerie for their prompt that helped inspire an aching mind today.

The Top 5 Things I Hate About Social Media

Over the last few months I’ve been steadily pulling myself further and further away from social media. I made my Instagram accounts private. I removed the Twitter app from my phone. I turned off Tumblr notifications. I do little more than share things I find interesting on Facebook.

Hell, the only thing I haven’t been able to ditch yet is Pinterest.

That may forever be my downfall.

The thing is, I’m sick of social media, and not just in the broad sense of it, but the same-old-same-old bullshit I see there day after day after day.


I’m sick of…

1. Comment threads.

I am desperately tired of seeing the sheer amount of ignorance, hatred, bullying, over-opinionated, and closed-mindedness in this world. I didn’t realize it, but after scrolling through any comment thread on ANY topic I’ve pretty much figured the human race is doomed to fail in a big heaping mass of self-righteous bull hockey.

2. Mommy Posts.

I don’t care how you are raising your kids. Honestly. I’ve written a few of these types of posts myself and then sit back and wait for the judgement. I count the number of moms who agree with me. It’s like justifying my own parenting by the amount of likes strangers give me. Guess how many fucks I give about your parenting style?

Not a one.

3. Pokes.

If you want my attention, say hello. I’d probably fall over in fright if half the people who bothered to poke me, like my posts, or heart my pictures actually bothered to ask how I was doing.

4. “News.”

I say that only in quotations, because if it were possible to give less than no fucks about Facebook’s version of news, I would. As of this moment the trending articles include: Whitney Houston’s daughter dying, some actress I don’t know is having a baby, and a police officer met a baby owl in the middle of the road. The last one sounds like the first lines of a really bad joke. The point is, these things don’t effect me. At all. Not even the slightest.

5. Rants, TMI, and Pity Parties.

No one likes these.


There are an infinite amount of things I would rather spend my days doing now, like:

Spending more time with my children.

Going on dates with my husband.

Reading all the books on my shelf.

Trying all the recipes I’ve pinned over the last few years.

Writing. Writing. Writing.

Going to the park.

Taking a friend out for lunch.

Lounging in my pjs and eating microwave popcorn while I talk to someone on the phone for like an hour like I used to do before fucking Facebook messengers and texting…

and in fact, I’m going to. I’m slowly working it out so my accounts no longer need me as an active member with them. Sure, my posts will still go up whenever I feel like writing one, but I’m writing for me. I’m not going to let the pressure of an audience dictate my work any more. That sounds cocky as fuck, but blogging is an almost constant pressure to perform.

And I suck with pressure.

So I’m disabling comments. Here, there, everywhere. I won’t be reading them. My site will be shifting over the next few days and you’ll be able to find an awesome place where you can drop me a line. If you want to chat with me, or if my work has touched you and you want to let me know, I’d love to hear from you. In the mean time, I’m going to hermit out with my family, because all this reading about the awesome things everyone else has been doing with their lives has left me with little time to do anything awesome with mine…and I’ve got some catching up to do.