I Am Tired of Praying for This World

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Creative Commons - Rubens Praying Hands

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Creative Commons – Rubens Praying Hands

I am tired of praying for this world.
I no longer believe in god.

I believe in the ability of men to hate.
I believe in the greed and corruption of government.
I believe in the goodness of a child’s heart
and the subtle selfish change we give its beat.

I no longer believe in god.

We’ve been using him as an excuse for murder for so long
I doubt he’d listen to our prayers anyway.
I doubt he’d want to hear from us at all.

God has become to excuse for hate –
the reason we can look at small, blow-up boats
full of women and children,
desperate men hanging on to each frozen, crested wave
like hope was a beacon set in the middle of the sea…
and we can sit there in that lighthouse,
and stare at that man,
and see something to be afraid of.

Where the color of someone’s skin dictates just how much air time they get
and whether it’s a graduation photo shown
or a mugshot.

Where our commercials pray on weak minded men to make them believe
they need this gun to be more manly,
this gun to be confident,
to be important.
While the NRA makes women believe the next wave of feminism
has come packaged in tiny metal bullets,
is delivered at the range and carried
concealed in their purses.

This world, where we can only find the strength to reach out to our brothers and sisters
when our brothers and sisters look like us,
have skin like us,
worship like us,
believe like us,
vote like us,
think like us.

We have poured so much hate into this earth,
even she is trying to get rid of us.

I am tired of praying for this world.

I no longer believe in god.

I will pray for my children instead.

I will pray that somewhere in the mire and muck we are leaving behind for them,
they find love.

© Laura A. Lord, 2015