I am One


One kid home sick from school today who left the building skipping and probably could have stayed, but she’d already been signed out.

One hour away from ballet tonight and Tuesdays suck, because they’re so damn hectic.

One nursing home that won’t take my uncle.

One nursing home in my county that has a locked ward and could take him, except they don’t have one single opening.

One car that the heat stopped working in yesterday and it’s 31 freaking degrees.

One car that we just got fixed, but the heat stopped working again this morning and now the low oil light is on.

One bazillion snowflakes falling and I’m so sick of this shit I could freak.

One canceled lunch date with someone I think I could be friends with and I could use a few of those right now.

One friend that decided to lie about me to make herself look good and I’m still mad about that shit.

One kid who got her first pimple last night and had a meltdown and she’s eight and too young for this.

One set of books ordered on the changing body of young girls.

One search for Baba Yaga books for the boy and they’re fucking expensive and I can’t order them right now, because the changing body books are more important at the moment.

One friend who is spiraling into a depression.

One friend who is so busy and worked to death and I need her, but can’t tell her that because it would only add to her stress.

One husband who says, “That’s life.” and walks back to his room to sleep while I start breaking off at the edges.

One trip to the hairdressers needed, because the dye that was supposed to last for six months is already coming out and I found one gray hair when I decided to stop looking for them.

One call to the Realtor to tell her to hold off on the house searches, because we have no idea what’s going on anymore.

One shitty IRS letter saying they are holding our taxes, so even if we wanted the Van of Doom that I get at least one phone call about every day we couldn’t afford to get it.

One phone call from the lady at Social Services to hassle me about denying my uncle his benefits if he doesn’t get placed within the next four days.

One more medical bill from the hospital for the miscarriage.

I am one. . .more. . .thing. . .away from losing my shit completely.

Fuck today. I’m boycotting it.

15 thoughts on “I am One

  1. Wow – you are having a really shitty day. There has to be some sort of a recognition program out there for anyone who gets through a day like you’re having. Hang in there!


  2. Now friends like making appointments with a lawyer never have time. Bad choice of words. I got that. Bad hair day. a woman could die I know. Cars blowing up like in the movies but you do not have a replacement that easy. life isn’t a film.

    Tough day. Well there is always the crow with a idea to take away all your trouble.

    No i am not a certified hairdresser but do I got the dye for you. Blood red and with in months it turn brown and change your style. Yes sir I mean lady. It is the deal of a life time and comes completely with a car. Oh you hearing it right. Forget new friends we make new ones instantly.

    And how will the crow do all this. with a bottle of wine you get front row seats.

    Crow will pick the brain of the IRS agent. and steal his car its is yours after those bastards stole all your money. The blood is the perfect dye. Blood read and there for ages renewed with every wash of the hair brown after days when dried and spiked hair is ready to pierce one can stick recites on them

    The dye is free as one unfortunate patient will take an nurse to his own. and gets arrested. ooh yeah the dye is free and comes free from every blood bank you can even make your own. Ding Dong you damn bitch we you make sure this uncle gets his seat and social security or you end up in someone’s hair.

    The crow has spoken. or picked his brain

    And one last treat. a hot strips show from hubby to melt or the snow away if he is able to. I could take his place but i am just a scrawny crow


  3. On the bright side, the crotch of your pants didn’t open like the mouth of a hipster about to devour his venti, sugar-free, non-fat, vanilla soy, double shot, decaf, no foam, extra hot, Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha with light whip and extra syrup.


        1. And. . .I would totally need your email address 😀 If my month continues this way I’ll just hire you as my new shrink bwahahaha.

          Do they make splash guards? I should invest in one. Or learn to laugh like a lady and not a drink spitting hyena.


          1. Um, if you go to comments in your dashboard you’ll find that you already have my email address. And yes, they do make splash guards for keyboards. Just for people like you. 😉


            1. And now I have learned something new about WordPress. You are awesome. I’m going to go search for keyboard splash thingies on Amazon and probably end up with two extra pair of shoes.


    1. I do have some nice targets. I need to learn to aim better. . .right now I seem to be firing off at anyone who comes within a five foot range and isn’t immediately offering a peace treaty of chocolate, wine, or coffee. And thinking of that. . .I should probably go apologize to the husband.


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