Reasons to Stay Silent

I’ve been away…not really away, but away from my blogging. I’m sorry. Really, I am. It’s not that nothing blog worthy has been happening. No. It’s just that every time I sit down to work on this I get slammed with this sense of “Goooooddddddd….I’m so tired.”

And I am.

I’m exhausted.

There is a big difference being pregnant at 28 and pregnant at 20.

Not that I would know.

I am not 28.

-Denial.-

The kids have kept me busy. A couple of weeks ago were parent teacher conferences. This is the first time I’ve gone to one for my son where he didn’t get to tag along. Kindergarten is so much more “real” school than Pre-K…So when I told him where I was going, naturally, he panicked.

Naturally?

For my son…I get it. He gave me the whole run around. “Why are you seeing my teacher?”, “I didn’t do anything.”, “I got fives.” (The equivalent of A’s that they are scored with every day).

The best though:

pretendsick

Oh, my poor child. I use that excuse so often, I can’t very well overdo it. The funny part was, his report was good. I mean, other than dealing with the fact that my son is a bit of a follower…as in, “Oh look, that kid’s screwing up. I’mma do what they did.” Other than that, he’s just fine.

So we followed up the week of the conferences with the weekend of the birthday party. Or the unbirthday party that is. My daughter wanted an Alice in Wonderland themed Mad Tea Party.

In my defense…I started planning for this before I knew I was pregnant. I went out and bought boxes full of junk pieces of tableware and teapots from Goodwill and other thrift shops. I ordered giant playing cards and fake flowers and all sorts of junk to make this tea party really seem off the wall.

I may have actually gone a bit mad.

It was a success though and hopefully one she will remember for a long…long time. Because I am never doing that again. I can’t even count the number of hours spent in set-up down in the church basement. At night. Alone. Creepy.

I still have things to put away from that party.

But this week has been uneventful. In fact, today was the only real highlight. The husband got his new Xbox One. -Cue laughter at watching a grown man act like a kid at Christmas.- I knew it would be this sort of day when I woke and saw his friends had posted more pictures of the new Xbox on their Facebooks then they had pictures of their current girlfriends. And my husband, being the sort of man he is, and knowing me so well, tells me before he leaves for work, “Hey, if you want to use it just tell it ‘Xbox On’. It’ll come right on.”

I was amazed. Not that I let him guess that. I told him I had no reason to use it and he batted out words like ‘Netflix’ and ‘Hulu’ and I shrugged as if I had no interest.

It’s an electronic piece of equipment that would respond when I spoke to it. Of course I wanted to play. So, I wait until later in the evening and the Xbox and I had some one-on-one time.

Me: -Wonders- Xbox on.

Xbox: -Lights Up-

Me: Crap. It’s on. Okay. Xbox off.

Xbox: –Does nothing.-

Me: -Turns on the TV, sees start screen.- Xbox off.

Xbox: -Nothing.-

Me: Shut down. Xbox shut down. Xbox turn off.

Xbox: -Blatantly ignoring me now.-

Me: -Sees a thing that says ask for “Xbox Help” for tips.- Xbox help.

Xbox: –Sign shows up- Can’t access help from here.

Me: Of course we can’t. -Spends ten minutes finding four controllers, all of which belong to the 360. Two of which have no batteries in them. One is the kid’s and the other…- Shit. I grabbed a controller to play with the kids earlier. -Runs out and grabs controller, thinking if it is the new one and she used it with the kids on the old living room Xbox he is going to kill me. Pushes buttons on it, since it has batteries.-

Xbox IN THE LIVING ROOM: -Turns on.- DING.

Me: You have got to be kidding me… -Runs out, sees old Xbox on and turns it off. Admits defeat and texts the husband.-

 

Husband: -Acts like his Xbox and ignores me.-

Me: -Finally finds the new controller and shuts the thing down. Texts the husband- I am never speaking to that thing again.

7 thoughts on “Reasons to Stay Silent

  1. Husbands new playmate. Now does that mean e will be talking to the Xbox more than a man would ever speak at all.
    Oh bad thought. if woman ere Xboxes, they could have conversation with men. Tell them how they feel.
    Yeah kids mind or something other. wanted one but going for playstation4 😀 yeah
    keep smiling , kids are doing great right.
    would love a fabulous party like that by the way mad hatter mum going all out. so cool

    Like

    1. I woke up to him telling the Xbox “You’re crazy. You’re crazy. You’re crazy.” Supposedly for one of his games he actually had to say the phrase to characters in it…-Le sigh-

      We’re an Xbox family here. I’m pretty sure ‘playstation’ is on the list of bad words he never wants to hear.

      I knew the party was a successful when a mother called the next day to tell me they felt like chopped liver and their kid thought I was cooler. Yeah. -Boss nod-

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  2. Haha there’s no way I could handle that– I can’t even figure out how to use a TV remote and am alway super proud of myself if I can pause Netflix on a TV. Maybe this whole thing is a ploy to teach men to communicate better?

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    1. It’s not better communication. It is demanding that something do whatever you say and expecting the result immediately. I’m waiting for him to look at me and say “Wife, turn on.” Like I’m going to just strip down into some sexy lingerie and lie on the bed with a come hither look…

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        1. I would be tempted to let him try it once, and play along…then say “Husband off” and give him a push in the right direction…off the bed. 😀

          Like

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