My son asked me to come outside and go on the trampoline with him, and for whatever reason, I said, “Sure”.
Three jumps later, I’m making a dash to the house (and the bathroom), because any kind of jiggling around of my insides like means an instant trip to the bathroom.
Hell, I can’t make it for a car ride to the grocery store without having to find a restroom.
And let’s not even talk about sneezing.
So, I come back out, tell me son, I am certainly not getting in there again, and I get this:
Rascal 2: Why do you always got to run and pee?
After asking what a bladder was, he fell down laughing the trampoline. It got me thinking though, of all the things I lost when I had children:
Anything resembling control over my bladder
A morning that begins whenever I actually WANT to wake up
Nipples that have feeling
Skin that’s smooth
Hair that gets done every day
Showering when wanting to, not just when needing to
Plates and cups with food and drink that only I eat and drink from
But I try not to be a completely negative person. I did gain a few things:
The ability to hear the slightest noise and wake immediately
The ability to recognize when silence is, “I accidentally fell asleep”, “I’m really into this movie”, or “I’m inventing a new stunt that may get me or my sister killed”
Tattoos, some call them stretchmarks, on my skin that didn’t involve needles
The ability to function (as in move around, possibly do things, and grunt) after a night of no sleep
The ability to kill monsters
The Husband likes those last few…so I suppose it’s all worth it.